What To Do When The Kid That Bites Belongs To You.

Around this time last year, I was receiving a handful of incident reports from Gia’s previous daycare concerning her biting other children. I was really frustrated and fed up so I asked my Facebook friends and family if they had any ideas on how I should help her. Some of them were:

  1. Tell her to stop biting. ( Duhh… I had been doing that.)
  2. Put her in time out. ( That doesn’t work for my baby or it’s not being used correctly at daycare.)
  3. Reward system. (Tried it.)
  4. Shadow her at school and see what’s going on. ( Her previous daycare wouldn’t allow it! That was a red flag and why I yanked her out of there.)
  5. Read books about not biting and give her a word or phrase to express her feeling. (DING DING DING! THIS WAS THE WINNER!)

I mean really! My two-year-old is a chit chatting machine and she understands very well. So that’s what did.

In the living room, near her toys, we posted a “Feelings” poster. We have been using this as an educational tool to help her express what she is feeling inside. We also checked out some books on biting and expressing our feelings.

She now has several phrases and better actions that she can use to express herself. We went over a phrase and an action for what she could do when she gets upset. I told her to put her hands up and say, “Stop it.” She utilizes this one very well, even with me, her mother! Haha! And you know what I do, most of the time, I listen. I listen because I want her to feel like she is heard and that she is important.

Therefore, my suggestion to you, the Mama with a little who is biting kids, is to give him/her a word. Give them an action that they can use instead. Correct the behavior. Don’t just spank them or yell at them and tell them not to do that. Show and tell them what to do instead. Show them that by talking and using an action, other than biting, gets the same results without hurting anyone.

Good luck!


Mama2Mama| Forgiveness

Mama2Mama was meant to be a YouTube series that I posted every Monday and eventually it will be, but for now the written word is just as important as the spoken word.

In my younger years – which isn’t that long ago, I’m only 26 – I used to practice forgiveness often. If someone did me wrong, I thought, oh well, I forgive them and move on, sometimes reconciling and sometimes cutting that person out of my life. However, now I find it so much harder to forgive.

I believe it’s because now I am very up front, I tell people how I am and I draw up my boundaries and basically tell people how it is, in the nicest way possible. Then after that, if someone was to do me wrong, I’d harden my heart towards them and cut them off and move on. I thought, you know me, so why would you hurt me like that? Yet, that attitude and way of life wasn’t working for me. The weight of a hardened heart became to heavy for me to bear.

Not only that, but my fear of the Lord grew and I began to understand that in order to please God that I have to obey his commandments.

Matthew 6:14-15 

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Here, we are met with a commandment and a promise.

Commandment: Forgive others who sin against you.

Promise: If you do not forgive, God will not forgive you.

Talk about a wake up call!

My first reaction to this verse was:

Lord, you mean I have to forgive my lying baby daddy? You mean I have to forgive my ex fiance who physically and emotionally hurt me? You mean I have to forgive my parents for not feeding me with a silver spoon? 

And the Lord replied with a yes, read Matthew 6:14-15 again.

I mean, God’s word is very clear. Either you forgive as you have been told to, or you don’t forgive which means your sins will not be forgiven. And I don’t know about you but I need ALL of my sins forgiven.

I understand that Paul thinks that he is the worst sinner ( 1 Tim. 1:15) , but girl, let me tell you.. Paul can’t touch this. I am sin-sin-sinner! And if had not been for the Lord on my side, I have a couple of ideas about where I would be. That’s why I am so grateful for the blood of Jesus washing away my sins. I need it! I need him! Therefore, yes, I will allow God to soften my heart. Yes, I will forgive those who sin against me, because 1. God says so 2. I want my sins forgiven and 3. because I want to be like Christ and that’s what Christ has done for me.

So Mama, I encourage you to forgive those who have sinned against you. Forgive them today. Even if you don’t tell them to their face that you forgive them, forgive them in your heart. Allow God to soften your heart. Confess your sins to God and ask him to forgive you. Also consider forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for dealing with such people. Forgive yourself for not obeying God’s word the first time. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive!

Meditate (focus)  on this and have a good night.

Ephesians 4:32 

32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Love you friend!

Mama2Mama| Broken Hearted Girl

The idea behind Mama2Mama initially started out a YouTube series idea, which there are a couple of  Mama2Mama videos of You Tube (click here), but for now, the written word is just as important as the spoken.

Tonight I want to share my Valentine’s Day story.

The last time that I had a really good Valentine’s day date may have been back in 2011. I was dating this guy just months after getting out an abusive relationship and I didn’t think that I could give love a try again. To myself, I was damaged. To him, I was beautiful. I was kind. I was everything that he wanted and he gave me everything that I wanted. From my favorite flower, sunflower, to my favorite candies, Twix and gummy bears, he wanted to see me smile and I did.  Every Valentine’s day before and after this was just another day.

It was just another day because I was either single or in a terrible relationship. I didn’t feel loved and I didn’t know how to love. And while tomorrow will feel like just another day, because I’m single, I’m ok with that.

I understand that God is still working on me.

Not long ago, in fact, November, 2016, I was in a relationship with a guy and it lasted for about 3 months. The relationship moved so fast! He verbally abused me and then later physically assaulted me.

We were in a serious relationship after 4 days of talking (mistake #1). Then after a month of dating we said, “I love you”( mistake #2). I ignored red flags such as his charm (the Bible says charm is deceiving), and him losing his job only a week into our relationship (he wasn’t stable), he got angry fast ( the Bible calls this kind of a person a fool), he was jealous, he wanted me to delete all guys from my social media accounts (controlling behavior), he found fault with members in my family and suggested I’d stop talking to him ( he wanted to isolate me), I mean the red flags were red hot, but I was foolish.

I was foolish and I called it moving on faith.

We even had a wedding ceremony in a church, with his family and my mom and sister. We said our vows on January 1, 2017, and come January 8, he physically assaulted me.

The relationship ended there and I cried. I was guilty. I was ashamed. I beat myself up because how could I have ignored all or these signs when I work at shelter for victims of domestic violence. I should’ve known better. I mean I really beat myself up.

Yet, I thank God that I did not turn in the marriage certificate. I thank God that today I was able to stand in court and get a two year protective order. I thank God for his constant protection. I thank God that I didn’t get pregnant ( we tried). I thank God from whom all of my blessings flow.

And while my heart is still hurting because I realize that I’ve never been in a healthy relationship, I am comforted in knowing that God is close to the brokenhearted. He is here with me. He will never leave me. He will make me over. He will continue to do a good work in me. He will see that I am made into the woman whom he would have of me to be. And one day, I won’t spend Valentine’s day alone with my child. One day I spend Valentine’s Day with a man who will make everything that I’ve been through make sense. One day, I will be in a healthy relationship and I will know how it feels to really be loved. He will love me as Christ loves the church. I will be for him and he will be for me. I have hope that this man that I dream about is near. It’s only a matter of time before we meet.

Mama, I want to encourage you in this season to have hope. Have hope that the love that you desire from a man is out there. It’s only a moment of time before you meet him. Until then, let’ focus on our relationship with God. Let’s allow God to continue a good work in us. Let’s purse Christ diligently and then expect every good thing to come afterwards.

Until then, I love you friend!

Mama2Mama | How Do You Spend Your Day?

Tonight I just shared a brief message encouraging you to include God in your day to day routine.

Get in the habit of spending time with God!

WE should enjoy it!

I admit that I don’t always include God and I admit that when I don’t include him, my day doesn’t go as well as it could have.

Talk to God today. Spend time with him right now! He is knocking on your door, let him in!