What To Do When The Kid That Bites Belongs To You.

Around this time last year, I was receiving a handful of incident reports from Gia’s previous daycare concerning her biting other children. I was really frustrated and fed up so I asked my Facebook friends and family if they had any ideas on how I should help her. Some of them were:

  1. Tell her to stop biting. ( Duhh… I had been doing that.)
  2. Put her in time out. ( That doesn’t work for my baby or it’s not being used correctly at daycare.)
  3. Reward system. (Tried it.)
  4. Shadow her at school and see what’s going on. ( Her previous daycare wouldn’t allow it! That was a red flag and why I yanked her out of there.)
  5. Read books about not biting and give her a word or phrase to express her feeling. (DING DING DING! THIS WAS THE WINNER!)

I mean really! My two-year-old is a chit chatting machine and she understands very well. So that’s what did.

In the living room, near her toys, we posted a “Feelings” poster. We have been using this as an educational tool to help her express what she is feeling inside. We also checked out some books on biting and expressing our feelings.

She now has several phrases and better actions that she can use to express herself. We went over a phrase and an action for what she could do when she gets upset. I told her to put her hands up and say, “Stop it.” She utilizes this one very well, even with me, her mother! Haha! And you know what I do, most of the time, I listen. I listen because I want her to feel like she is heard and that she is important.

Therefore, my suggestion to you, the Mama with a little who is biting kids, is to give him/her a word. Give them an action that they can use instead. Correct the behavior. Don’t just spank them or yell at them and tell them not to do that. Show and tell them what to do instead. Show them that by talking and using an action, other than biting, gets the same results without hurting anyone.

Good luck!

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In Christ Alone

Some time ago I published a devotional on Who I am in Christ? Check it out if you haven’t already OR if you’re like me, read it again cause you can’t remember what it was about.

Now you maybe wondering how I don’t remember what it says when I was the one that wrote it. Haha! Yea… no excuse other than, I’m a mom, I have a toddler, I work full time, I forgets.

However in it you will find some pretty encouraging words, that when I read over it for the second time really helped me out of this funk that I’ve been in since Sunday. And this “funk” may come as a surprise to you, but I have a confession to make… I am working through my insecurities and low self-esteem.

Over the weekend I had a chance to be alone for a little while and hear God’s voice. I had prayed and my questions were answered. I know right from wrong and most times it’s easier to do wrong. Like Paul in ….  I asked God why?

Me: Why when I want to do right, I go left.?

God: When you are weak I am strong.

Me: God, I am weak?

* The light bulb comes on *

To the World, I’m not weak, but I am strong. I am strong because I work full time. I am strong because I go to school part time. I am strong because I spend time with my child. To the World I am strong, but they have no clue what’s going on in the inside and they don’t know that I am struggling internally. But God knows, he knows when the last I read my Bible was. He knows when the last time I spent more than 2 minutes in the car praying and talking to Him was. He knows my thoughts and my intentions. He sees me differently than I see me.

I see me a broken, scrunched up rose. I have yet to be in a healthy relationship so I don’t know what to look for when dating. I provide a generous and an unrecognized amount of support to those I love. I love food, but I want to loose weight. I don’t care for the way I look too much at all. I’m always longing for something better. To myself, I am not enough and to that God says, “You are weak.”

He says, “You would see yourself as I see you if only you spent a little more time with me.” He says, ” You are more than your past mistakes, even the ones you just made yesterday.” He says, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made, my child, you are beautiful.” He says, “You are more than enough because of him who lives inside of you.” He says, “You are loved.” And to that I say, “Thank you Jesus.”

Thank you Jesus for reminding of the devotional about who I am in Christ, that I wrote! He knew back then that I would need it for this present moment. In the devotional I wrote, “You ARE who GOD says you are! When you start believing in who God says you are, you will start acting like it. ” On the next page there are scriptures that answer the question of, “Who does God say I am?”

God says you are above and not beneath.

God says you are loved.

God says are his child.

So I rest in that. I rest in knowing that every negative thought that I have about myself is not true. I rest knowing that the Creator of the Heaven and of Earth thinks I am something good. I rest knowing that it is GOD who decides how much I am worth and to him I am worth dying for.

My worth is found in Christ alone.

Money Matters | Government Assistance

Mama have you signed up for government assistance? If you haven’t, here are some names and descriptions of programs that you could consider looking into to see if there is something like it in your community.

Resources 

SNAP (Food stamps)- Usually comes in the form of a card ( food stamps card). It is for those with low income that helps pay for food.

Food Pantry/ Food Bank- On certain days of the week, organizations will have times when you can come in and get different kinds of food for free.

Medicaid- Healthcare assistance. Must meet certain income requirements to qualify.

WIC- Food/ Nutrition assistance. They work with moms who have a child or children under the age of 5 years old. They help you with basic food needs to keep you ( when you are breastfeeding) and your child healthy.

TANF- Temporary Assistance for Needy Families. It’s similar to using a debit card.

Pregnancy Resource Center- A place where pregnant moms can take classes to earn points to get items for their child. They also provide ultrasound testing as well as testing for STDs.

Public Housing-  housing that is usually for people with low incomes or a disability, subsidized by public funds.

Section 8 Voucher- similar to public housing however the section 8 voucher allows you the freedom to pick where you want to live. Wherever you pick has to agree to take the voucher.

Early Learning Coalition- When I lived in Florida, this is what the child care assistance program was called. They pay for a portion of your daycare bill. Some of their requirements might be that you have to either be in school full time or be working over 20 hours a week.

Head Start- This is another child care assistance program.

Transitional Housing For Single Moms – In this small town, where I live, in Texas we have 2 housing programs specifically for single moms. One requires that the mom have a job and the other requires that the mom have a car. However the moms are able to save money and live there anywhere from a year or until their child turns 18.

Church- I work in the social service field and we refer our clients to churches all the time! Yes, your church may help you with rent, our a deposit, or medicine, you just have to reach out. If your church doesn’t another church might. Some cases you have to be a member of the church, other cases you do not. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

If you live in the State of Texas dial 211 to find any and all available resources and services near you.

 Mama, we have to swallow our pride.

We have to swallow our pride and realize that this season is only temporary. We have to humble ourselves and come to terms, because yes, some of need all or a few of the mentioned programs. When you look at your budget and barely have enough to care for you and your child, consider this list. You could plug in the most common ones (Food Stamps, Medicaid, and Early Learning Coalition) into your budget and see how much money you’d be saving.

Sometime we pray and we ask God to provide. We ask him to provide in the way that we want him to provide. We tell him to give us a better paying job when we’re not even the position for one nor do we have the education or the proper attitude for it. We tell him to “enlarge our territory” when we have not been faithful over the little that he has given us. We set out all types of requests for God without even checking ourselves in the first place. Surely, God is able to do whatever he wants regardless of ourself. But don’t get upset when all of our requests are met because you’re not in the position to have them met.

I love that scripture, “Faith without works is dead,” (James 2:17).

Mama, I have faith that God will provide because I have done my part. I have applied for the assistance that I need and am eligible for and I have faith that God will make it more than enough. He has and he will. I know that if he can do it for me, he can do it for you.

 

 

 

 

 The list that I have provided may not be all of the available 
services to single mothers. If interested take the initiative and 
look up what you need.

Devotional #6 | Life Lessons from Ephesians

This week I want to steer our focus from one specific topic and put it on one specific book in the Bible; Ephesians.

It is my hope, as it with all of the devotionals that Christian Single Mama compiles and shares, that us Mamas would grow and mature in Christ.

Check out Devotional #6 located in the Devotionals tab.